nedelja, 10. januar 2010

Moški, ki sovražijo ženske in ženske, ki jih ljubijo - S. Forward

Odvisna ljubezen deluje kot katera koli druga vrsta odvisnosti - od alkohola, drog, hazardiranja, športa ali hrane. Občutimo prisilno, nagonsko potrebo po drugi osebi. Ženska, ki živi v odvisni ljubezenski zvezi, občuti silovito bolečino in trpljenje,kadar je ločena od svojega partnerja; čuti, da ne more živeti brez njega. Odnos zagotavlja ''višek'', s katerim se nič ne da primerjati - in v želji, da bi dosegla ta ''višek'', je pripravljena tolerirati velik del neprimernega obnašanja.
Ta vrsta odvisnosti dela ženske silovito odvisne od njihovih partnerjev. Bolj ko ga vidi kot glavni vir svojega zadovoljstva, večjo potrebo bo čutila po njem kot središčem svojega življenja. To je začaran krog; bolj, ko je ona odvisna, bolj je on pomemben in ona se je vse bolj pripravljena odrekati zaradi njega, tako da vse manjši del njenega življena ostane neodvisen od njega. To jo drži čvrsto v pasti.

From the cradle to the throne
My flesh and my bones
Is that the way it's supposed to be
How the story goes?
Ribbons and bows
Like a thorn on a rose
When the one man who gave it all to you
Has to let you go

He found for me scarlet ribbons
Scarlet ribbons for my hair

What becomes of a father's love
When another has his daughter's love
Don't you know they'll never be above?
I'll always be your little girl

It's all borrowed time
And you always said I would regret it
If I grew up too fast
But my heart is strong and true
I'm doing fine
The things that you said
I won't forget them
I'll do as you ask
And always play fair for you

You found for me scarlet ribbons
Those scarlet ribbons for my hair

What becomes of a father's love
When another has his daughter's love
Don't you know they'll never be above?
I'll always be your little girl

There's a part of you
In every part of me (should know better)
Maybe you should know
I won't let that go
As long as I can cry on your shoulder
Won't be growing up
Just older
You have got to let me go

You found for me scarlet ribbons
Those scarlet ribbons for my hair

What becomes of a father's love
When another has his daughter's love
Don't you know they'll never be here but
I'll always be your little girl

I'll always be, always be your little girl
Always be, always be your little girl
Always be, always be your little girl
Always be your little girl

You have got to let it go, oh oh
You have got to let it go

Fromm:

The PASSIVE form of the symbiotic union is that of SUBMISSION, or if we use a clinical term, of MASOCHISM. The masochistic person escapes from the unbearable feeling of isolation and separateness by making himself part and parcel of another person who directs him, guides him, protects him; who is his life and hiy oxygen, as it were. The masochistic person does not have to make decisions, does not have to take any risks; he is never alone - but he is not independent; he has no integrity, he is not yet fully born. He makes himself the instrument of somebody or something outside himself; he need not solve the problem of living by productive activity.


Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.'

www.youtube.com
NAKON SVIH OVIH GODINA - BIJELO DUGME


Ko sem opisovala ženomrzca, sem uporabljala zelo poudarjene
izraze. Njegovo obnašanje sem imenovala brezčutno, žaljivo,
nesprejemljivo in kruto. Vse to je res - a prišel je čas, da njegov
portret prikažem bolj celovito. Ko pričnemo raziskovati sile, ki že-
nejo ženomrzca, ugotovimo, da je velik del njegovega napadalne-
ga obnašanja samo krinka za njegov grozen strah pred ženskami.
Ujet je v navzkrižje med svojo potrebo po ženini ljubezni in svo-
jim globoko ukoreninjenim strahom pred njo.

Ta moški ima potrebo, kot vsi mi, da je ljubljen, da nekdo
skrbi zanj in da se počuti varnega. Kot odrasli to potrebo izpol-
njujemo skozi fizično intimnost, čustveno prejemanje in dajanje in
skozi starševstvo. Vendar se ženomrzec teh potreb strašansko boji.
Njegove normalne potrebe po ženini bližini so pomešane s stra-
hom, da ga lahko čustveno uniči. Globoko v sebi ima zasi-
drano skrivno prepričanje, da bo žena, če jo bo vzljubil, dobila
moč, da ga prizadane, prikrajša, pogoltne in zapusti. Ker ji je pri-
pisal to mitsko moč, ki zbuja strahospoštovanje, ona zanj postane
zastrašujoči lik.
www.youtube.com
Oliver Dragojevic

www.youtube.com

Ni komentarjev:

Objava komentarja