The greater part of human pain is unnecessary. It is self-created as long as the unobserved mind runs your life.
The pain that you create now is always some form of nonacceptance, some form of unconscious resistance to what is. On the level of thought, the resistance is some form of judgment. On the emotional level, it is some form of negativity. The intensity of the pain depends on the degree of resistance to the present moment, and this in turn depends on how strongly you are identified with your mind.
To be identified with your mind is to be trapped in time: the compulsion to live almost exclusively through memory and anticipation.
Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry all forms of fear are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence.
To be free of time is to be free of the psychological need of past for your identity and future for your fulfillment.
Be at least as interested in what goes on inside you as what happens outside. If you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place.
Wherever you are, be there totally. If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally.
It seems that most people need to experience a great deal of suffering before they will relinquish resistance and accept before they will forgive.